SUNDAY. I was sweating all over. It was El Nino. Too damn hot. Everything was heating up, except for one thing. My relationship with my girlfriend of two years. She was getting frigid. Cold, and indifferent.Too many things happened a week ago and it was really frustrating. We were teaching English at a local academy and Sunday was one of the days of the week I could relax a bit. But it was the opposite. She had been acting strangely. Whenever we see each other she would sit at a distance, and she never talked much unlike before. When I get near her, she act as if she was in a hurry. I was thinking of talking to her. Ans seriously, we really needed it. I messaged her over the cellphone, she replied. I wasn't contented. I tried to call her. Phone's dead. A few moments later, she called me. I was happy to hear her. Everything seemed okay. Maybe. I felt a bit calm, yet something did bothered me. Night came, and it was like hell. I was deprived of my long coveted sleep. Afterall, I was a chronic insomniac. Sleepless.
MONDAY. I was running along the stairs of the academy, sweating. It was hotter than the day before. I came early, since I really needed to see her. She was there. When she saw me she approached me and said she'll talk to me later. I handed her a letter. I wrote that letter since I was too anxious to talk. I waited for her class to finish. After an hour, the bell rang. She walked out of class and went towards me. My heart pounded hard. She sat down besides me. I repeatedly told myself everything will be alright. But my heart was telling me it was a lie. She started to talk. Her mouth seemed to move in slow motion. Then it hit me. Plain, simple words. I don't love you anymore. I felt crushed. I was angry. I asked her if it was for real. She repeated herself. I don't love you anymore. She said sorry. I hated that moment. Sadness.
TUESDAY. I took the liberty of taking a break from the academy. I went elsewhere. The cool breeze of the air conditioner soothed me. I was sitting inside a bus as I traveled, I tried not to think of her but deep in my heart I missed her. How we used to talk for hours, how she accompanied me whenever I go somewhere, how she looked at me all so lovingly, how she smiled when I tell her sweet phrases.. Yet everything had already ended. I messaged her, asked her back. I told her I was ready to give up everything. She told me that I was saying that because I was afraid of losing her. She was right. I was afraid of losing sight of her. Now that I have planned of sharing my entire future with her. I tried to bargain. She declined. She said that eventually everything will end, and be forgotten. I hated it. As I got home late that night, sadness took the best of me. Sleep hadn't really been on my side lately. Maybe in the end, time will take its toll. Migraine.
WEDNESDAY. Everything looked normal. She was there, pretty as ever. It was a good day. We talked and laughed a bit. I asked her if we could go out and watch a movie. She said yes. I felt glad. She went to me before she took off and went home. She held my hands. It felt good. I was hoping she'll soon realize she still love me. I was hoping for things to go well for us. Fingers crossed. Uncertainty.
THURSDAY. Everything started to sink in. We broke up. She's not mine to hold, to cherish, to kiss, to embrace, to love. I was angry at myself. That day she never talked to me. In contrast to the scorching weather, she was cold. It was frustrating. When I got home I went straight to my room. I didn't eat. I wasn't hungry. I just stayed there in my room, thinking. Of how I could get her back. How much I loved her, how much I needed her. I think too much, I didn't realize it was already morning. Wasted.
FRIDAY. No sleep. My eyes hurt a lot. But I realized too many things. I tied all the loose ends in my life and discarded all the hate in me. She would really liked that. I rushed to the academy. I needed to see her. I had to stand up and get my feet back on the ground. I took off. Inside the bus, streams of memories came flashing, and it was telling me that no matter how hard I try, it would be meaningless, for she had already made up her mind. I looked at the shiny thing I was holding. It should have been the greatest gift I could give her. Our future together. I know, that even with that she would decline. I returned the ring inside my bag. I felt so lost. It was a hopeless and losing battle. As I looked outside the window emptily, tears rolled from my eyes. At the same instance, rain started to pour... Tears.
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